Is Your Fear Preventing You From Taking Action?
By Elina Bagshaw
I know that sometimes I start things and fall flat on my face.
What I am glad about is that I have learned to start projects that I do not feel totally ready for. I have learned to take on things that scare me to pieces. Today, I am excited by the challenge of something totally unknown. Truthfully, it wasn’t always like that.
Resistance is the friend that arrives when we’ve done it right.
If there is no resistance to what I am working on, I will often just be skirting around the periphery. Procrastination, avoidance, fear, excuse making and lack of motivation become part of the territory. They are there as part of the process and constant reminders that action is required — sooner than later.
Sometimes I fear these dragons will stop me from getting there — to the next step in my journey; to the next level of my understanding; to the next level of my learning.
Now, it’s your turn to break through your fears about your child’s learning.
This brings me to your child’s learning needs. More often than not I see children who want learning help, but their parents are questioning, avoiding, procrastinating, resisting and making excuses to put off the day of reckoning: Decision Day.
Decision day can be a terrifying prospect for many. It’s the point at which you lay your cards on the table and more often than not, hope that you’ve got a winning hand. A winning hand that will not only help your child, but also make you look and feel like you’ve made the right choice in selecting your child’s learning team.
This is how to ensure a winning hand every time with your child — it takes 2 things.
Listen to your instincts. Your ‘old brain’, the part that handles very basic instincts and thoughts cannot translate feelings into words. It just instinctively figures out what will work and won’t. Listen to it. It used to let us know when to fight or run. Now it tells us whether to stay or walk away.
Listen to your child. Look through the lens your child is looking through (not your own). Imagine what they are thinking and needing. Looking beyond what you are thinking is absolutely necessary to see their situation from their perspective.
This is an important and courageous act and an absolute must for you to properly help them on their learning journey.
Notice when you loose connection with them. Notice when they begin to shut down. Notice when they light up and notice what reaction they have to what you say and also to how you listen.
When you are able to create this kind of empathic relationship with your child by looking at the world through as they see it, you will be able to see what the right choice is for your child.
And isn’t that really what we want.
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