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Learn the Difference between Predicaments and Problems

Learn the Difference between Predicaments and Problems

By Elina Bagshaw

Starting at a very young age, our model of the world changes. Our model takes on more complexity with learning blocks developing silently in your child.   These learning blocks will ultimately prevent your child from being the best that they can be.

Labeling is just another form of classifying.

It is something we do with virtually everything. However, this is not necessarily what children need or want and it can often have life long repercussions.

Our school system has a tendency to label children who have learning challenges.   Labels such as shy, lazy, not working to their potential and so forth, can further intensify the child’s learning blocks, anxieties and fears, creating a progressively worsening situation.

For your child, being labeled in combination with their learning blocks can result in near paralysis whereby they may not be able to move forward in their life.

What a Winning Learning Formula actually is.

A Winning Learning Formula provides your child specific tools and techniques to excel in learning and life. Your child’s barriers to learning will be systematically managed and in some cases removed so that they will be able to succeed.

When we stop trying to find labels and start looking at management techniques to the symptoms shown by children, we begin down the right path to helping them.

Symptoms in your child can appear as:

  • Test Anxiety
  • Reading difficulties
  • Spelling challenges
  • General Anxiety
  • Procrastination/Motivation Issues
  • Frustration and Anger

 

Problems have solutions. Predicaments can only be managed.

Predicaments simply don’t have solutions. Problems on the other hand, do have solutions.

If your child’s symptoms are diagnosed as problems, often no solution is ever found. The experience will likely be frustrating and upsetting for both you and your child.

Interestingly, it is easier for the school system to diagnose your child’s symptoms as a problem and find a label.   Why? It takes time and resources to really understand what is going on — both of which are limited. Ironically, all too often a large amount of you and your child’s time and energy are wasted trying to find solutions to problems that are really predicaments.

Even more to the point

Tools and techniques are taught to the child to assist them in managing the situation. In most cases the child ends up better off than before with an understanding of who they are and what they can achieve. They will have the proper tools and techniques to deal with their anxieties, fears and learning blocks and they will have these tools for life.

A Winning Learning Formula is something that lasts a lifetime; it’s not just a catchy statement.

Every child, and in fact every human being needs a winning learning formula. Without it, they will not have a solid foundation upon which to build their professional and financial lives.

With the proper guidance, support and mentorship, a solution lies within the grasp of every child.

And isn’t that really what we want.

If you know of anyone who would value this type of information, please feel free to forward this article to them.

Is Fear Preventing You From Taking Action?

Is Your Fear Preventing You From Taking Action?

By Elina Bagshaw

I know that sometimes I start things and fall flat on my face.

What I am glad about is that I have learned to start projects that I do not feel totally ready for. I have learned to take on things that scare me to pieces. Today, I am excited by the challenge of something totally unknown. Truthfully, it wasn’t always like that.

Resistance is the friend that arrives when we’ve done it right.

If there is no resistance to what I am working on, I will often just be skirting around the periphery. Procrastination, avoidance, fear, excuse making and lack of motivation become part of the territory. They are there as part of the process and constant reminders that action is required — sooner than later.

Sometimes I fear these dragons will stop me from getting there — to the next step in my journey; to the next level of my understanding; to the next level of my learning. 

Now, it’s your turn to break through your fears about your child’s learning.

This brings me to your child’s learning needs. More often than not I see children who want learning help, but their parents are questioning, avoiding, procrastinating, resisting and making excuses to put off the day of reckoning: Decision Day.

Decision day can be a terrifying prospect for many. It’s the point at which you lay your cards on the table and more often than not, hope that you’ve got a winning hand. A winning hand that will not only help your child, but also make you look and feel like you’ve made the right choice in selecting your child’s learning team.

This is how to ensure a winning hand every time with your child — it takes 2 things.

Listen to your instincts. Your ‘old brain’, the part that handles very basic instincts and thoughts cannot translate feelings into words. It just instinctively figures out what will work and won’t. Listen to it. It used to let us know when to fight or run. Now it tells us whether to stay or walk away.

Listen to your child. Look through the lens your child is looking through (not your own). Imagine what they are thinking and needing. Looking beyond what you are thinking is absolutely necessary to see their situation from their perspective.

This is an important and courageous act and an absolute must for you to properly help them on their learning journey.

Notice when you loose connection with them. Notice when they begin to shut down. Notice when they light up and notice what reaction they have to what you say and also to how you listen.

When you are able to create this kind of empathic relationship with your child by looking at the world through as they see it, you will be able to see what the right choice is for your child.

And isn’t that really what we want.

If you know of anyone who would value this type of information, please feel free to forward this article to them.

The Secret Sauce To Deal With Your Child's Hidden Fears and Anxieties

The Secret Sauce To Deal With Your Childs Hidden Fears and Anxieties

By Elina Bagshaw

The importance of understanding

People often ask me, ‘What’s the secret sauce behind being constantly successful at eliminating learning challenges, anxieties, fears and behavioural issues with children?’

Here it is.

I have learned to see all interactions with children through the lens in which they look through (and not my own).

This has given me tremendous insight into knowing exactly what the child is thinking and most likely how they are going to react. Imagine if you were to know:

  • What to say and what not to say.
  • What will work and what will not.
  • What will engage them and not bore them to death.
  • What they need and want to be able to be successful at school and life.

 

This journey is as much your child’s as it is yours. Commit to asking yourself the following questions:

  • How will my child react?
  • How will they feel?
  • What will they think in reaction to what I am about to do right now?

Asking these questions can be a huge eye opener

Much of learning how to best help your child is at an unconscious level.

Every child that I work with, I take the time to look at the world through their eyes, from their perspective and their state of mind.

The right mindset and the importance of a bond

It takes the right mindset. It takes a non-judgmental mindset, a caring mindset and a courageous mindset to ultimately resonate with a child – your child.

When we are able to create this kind of bond with children, making them feel relaxed and comfortable to open up, it enables us to see the world through their eyes and into a place that was once closed off.

Ultimately, it enables the correct assistance to move the child beyond the fears, anxieties and learning blocks, to a new place.

A place where they can flourish! And isn’t that really what we want.

If you know of anyone who would value this type of information, please feel free to forward this article to them.

1947 - Back in the Day

1947

When I started school in 1947, in a single room school house, my journey began in education which has never ended even after 67 years. In those days, we didn’t say “back in the day.” There was the Ontario curriculum which had been written back in the 1930’s and included agriculture. That was easy for me, growing up in rural Ontario but it was difficult for the ‘city kids’ who didn’t know a Holstein from an Angus nor even that they were breeds of cattle (don’t say cows).

It was expected however that upon graduation from Grade 8, all students would know how to read, write (not just print) and do basic arithmetic which included adding, subtraction, multiplying (must know the times-tables) and division. All of this Math was, of course, done without a calculator!

Ah the good old days. But not everyone could do all that the curriculum said they could; some children failed and some, more than once. They eventually left school and some that I knew got jobs and worked hard all their lives, but others did not.

Our teachers worked long hours and helped as much as they could, but with 8 grades in one room or 20 years later with one grade with 35 to 40 students in each room, not everyone was reached, not everyone was helped and not everyone succeeded.

The curriculum, the schools and the teachers have changed. Educators at every level are far more aware of the varied needs of each child; programs and systems are designed to meet those needs. Perfect? No, but it is improved and improving. Yet more help must be available so that every child can succeed to their full potential.

Guest Blogger of the Week : Don Bagshaw BA, MEd